Back home, sharing is not a common trait. At school, people would fight if someone took food out of their hands or off of their plate. Here, everyone at school shares. If you are ordering food, it better be for everyone or you will be classified as a selfish human being, and people probably won’t want to hang around you. My friends and I switch off days where we buy each other food. If we order pizza, the person who paid gets the last slice. It’s like an unwritten rule. You share, you just do it. You don’t hold a tab either, of the things you’ve bought for others. My friends (who are from different countries in Africa) told me that if you go home with food for only yourself and there are other people at home, that you cannot eat it. You have to wait for them to leave, or share with everyone.
Another thing my friends don’t get, is my (very American) sarcastic humor. We (Americans) say the rudest things to each other and call it an 'odd sense of affection.’ The sad part is, that I can’t seem to get rid of my Americanness. I even find it refreshing, at times, to be around other Americans because they get my humor. I try to contain it around my non-American friends here. When I say something that I think is funny, I’m either the only one laughing or I unintentionally hurt someone’s feelings. I often wonder why we, as Americans, are so violent and abrasive with ourselves and each other, in the name of amusement.
From the outside looking in, America looks like a very selfish country to me. We don’t share like we should, we are often rude and inconsiderate. We have a self centered mentality that every other country see’s but that we choose to ignore. We view ourselves as individuals, with all the entitlements that come with individuality. Most non-Americans, and particularly Africans, see themselves as part of a greater whole. This allows them to be more gentle and considerate with each other.
I like this concept of sharing. It is an aspect of Ubuntu, 'I am because we are'. It makes self-centeredness seem really silly and counterproductive. I also feel like using true words of affection makes the message “I care about you,” much clearer.
It takes a lot less energy to make people smile, than it does to make them cry...and when you share joy, you get all that
energy back!
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| Look, Americans Sharing |
Johannesburg